Voice 25 – Tony Hart

Oh, the memories. He doesn’t talk much for the first 5 minutes, or very much at all, but this appears to be the only video of him I can find online apart from the Artbox Bunch, and the theme tune for that is so ghastly I couldn’t bear to subject you all to it.

Also, turns out that the US have an equivalent that comes complete with his own non-detachable soothing voice. Hooray! Thanks to Christine Egan for bringing Bob Ross to my attention:

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Voice 24 – John Cassavetes

Not often very quiet, but when he is, he has a voice like toffee. Watch this remarkable rant in relation to his film Opening Night, in which he slams Hollywood, consumer society, lazy audiences and gratuitously violent movies, and I challenge you not to be hypnotised by the end.

More videos after the jump. More

Voice 21 – Little Edie Beale

There’s an interesting theory I’ve heard that the best speakers and orators grew up never being told to shut up, and always with a willing ear to listen. From watching the fabulous 1975 documentary Grey Gardens, it seems entirely likely that ex-society girl “little” Edie Beale has spent her entire life with the captive audience of her mother, Edith Bouvier Beale. Needless to say, the result is soothing, if also totally bonkers.

More videos after the jump>

Voice 20 – Simply Sara

I debated with myself for a couple of days about whether to include this video on here. Most people will know this video for the startling disregard of nutritional common sense displayed by the filmmaker, which has already comfortably secured its viral status. All I know is I have now watched it about 5 times purely for the way she delivers the line “It’s already been cooked and drained” in reference to the immense bowl of apple macaroni (whatever that is) she stuffs into the pile of saturates she has sitting on her stove. Efficient use of incidental music as well. Just bland enough to bring me one step closer to that desired level of blind stupor. I suppose what this video really proves to me is that soothe doesn’t discriminate against blatant stupidity. So there you are.

Voice 19 – Lauren Bacall

In Young Man With a Horn

The Big Sleep

And of course one of the most famous, and soothing, lines in the history of cinema. From the movie To Have and Have Not. Yeah, that’s right. Sexy can be soothing.

Voice 18 – Tom Waits

Sigh…

Voice 17 – Urgelt

Who is Urgelt? And why has he created a Youtube account consisting entirely of quiet, leisurely poetry readings? Who knows. The very understated manifesto on his youtube profile says:

If I could sum up my message in a few words, I’d probably use these: be skeptical of what people tell you, there are a lot of self-serving liars at large. Use search engines, they are the most powerful invention since printed books. Be amazed at the wonderful universe we live in. Be in love with literature and poetry. Try to be kind; a world filled with kindness is a nicer place to live.

So I suppose I’ll let that speak for itself.

I chose this video, a reading of the poem The Children’s Hour by Henry Longfellow, because by chance I happened to buy a beautifully illustrated second-hand book called Excelsior by the same poet while in Edinburgh and only discovered afterwards that he was a very well-known children’s author at one time. It’s also rather lovely that he finishes this video with the advice “Fathers. Read to your children.”

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